5 No Bull Shit Techniques to Being in the Present Moment
The topic of being present, living in the moment or being in the now, is probably more popular today than ever before. Like many of the topics I enjoy writing about and exploring, the concept of being present is something that is seemingly incredibly simple and pedestrian.
However, being in the present moment has been touted by everyone from CEOs to professional athletes, to the common person, as the greatest secret to both professional success and personally reducing stress. There’s a huge and ever growing industry for mindfulness and being present. What is going on here?
This is no accident or fad. Research shows that one’s ability to focus and have an undistracted mind is one of the most, if not the most, important factors in success in almost any industry or skill.
But even more importantly, the ability to stay present lends itself to a healthier moment to moment well being and improvement in all forms of relationships from family to friends and professional. Basically, cultivating the skill of presents can help us be better and get more enjoyment out of all the things that are most important to us in life.
In this article I hope to share a few of my favorite techniques and practices for connecting with a deep sense of presents. These practices themselves are not the end goal. We don’t want to spend the rest of our lives doing and relying on practices to be present. Rather, they are ways of tasting or getting free samples of being fully here and now.
With regular meditation and intentional practice these techniques will eventually become habits, or second nature. Over time you will find you don’t have to remember to practice, except maybe when we are going through particularly challenging situations and need a lifeline back to presents.
Ultimately there are no requirements to be here now. You already are. We are actually working incredibly hard to get out of the present moment, which is ultimately impossible.
Regardless, almost everyone feels a lack of presents a lot of the time. We have to start somewhere, so here are 5 of my favorite ways to remember I am here and now.
5 No Bull Shit Techniques to Being in the Present Moment
Realize you can’t be out of the moment.
The easiest way to be in the moment is realize you can’t be anywhere else. You can’t be out of a moment. We could say we “are” the moment. As far as we, as conscious beings interacting with reality, are concerned, if we weren’t here the moment wouldn’t be. No us, no moment.
I am not speaking at a philosophical or ontological level here. I’m speaking from our objective first person experience. How could we “be” anywhere besides this moment, unless it was in our imagination. Even when we imagine things from the past or future, we do it now, in this moment. Where else could we do it?
I have written about this before in a post called “Finding your true home” (this is linked in the notes).
This may be a little difficult for some to grasp at first. Partially because it is so simple it seems deceivingly simple. Revisit and entertain this idea “you can’t be out of the moment”, and see what happens with repetition.
Focus on any sensation in the body.
This is one of the most accessible and practical techniques. Picking any sensation in the body, most common example being the breath, and as best as you can focus exclusively on that.
This is synonymous with meditating and a regular meditation practice will greatly help to develop this ability so that one can use it in a real life (when the rubber hits the road) scenario.
Focusing on the breath, or other bodily sensation, takes the mind from thinking about the past, future or other day dreams, and brings you into what is real right here and now. Often, the realization that follows is “almost nothing is happening here and now.” All our anxieties and fantasies aren’t happening at this moment. What is actually happening is we are here and we are breathing, and that mostly it.
Experiment with focusing on the breath, or you can pick another physical sensation like the wind hitting your face or how your feet feel in this very moment. This is a wonderful way of seeing thoughts as thoughts, and metal stories as stories, connecting you to what is truly happening right here and now.
Ask yourself: I wonder what my next thought will be?
This is one of my favorites. I often use it to quickly and reliably quiet the mind. Very simply, just ask the question to yourself, “I wonder what my next thought will be?” And watch closely until the next thought pops up. It will. As it does see it like an image appearing on a screen.
This can both drastically slow down the thinking mind and create inner spaciousness that can give some distance from the thoughts, which can help to not identify with them or get lost in mental chatter.
Focus completely on what other people are saying.
This technique is best for when interacting with others and can serve dual purposes. First, instead of being distracted and lost in thought as someone is talking, you can use what they are saying as an object of meditation. This will help keep you from just thinking about and rehearsing what you are going to say next, while someone is talking to you, and will lead you to truly listen to not only what they are saying but the feeling behind it.
Secondly, this can help with social anxiety. A lot of people have a hard time with social interactions because they don’t want to sound stupid or awkward, and they’re afraid that they won’t know what to say or what they do say will come out wrong.
The funny thing about this is when you are able to relax and listen in a conversation or social interaction, you will be the best conversationalist you can be. Yes, I know this is easier said than done, but like everything I write about this takes practice. One rep at a time.
Ask yourself: what is missing at this moment?
This is probably my all time favorite question to immediately arrive in the moment and find contentment. Sam Harris uses this question in some of his meditations and talks on the Waking Up app, so I’ve been able to practice asking it to myself for years now.
Like looking for your head and not finding it, the point of looking for what is missing in this moment is that one will not find anything missing. And if you do find something missing in this moment, rephrase the question: “In this moment, without consulting the mind or thoughts, what is missing?” Thoughts will almost always attempt to answer this question:
“I’m hungry. I’m missing a meal. I have to eat something! If I eat I'll be content and fulfilled.”
“I’m missing someone. If they were here, everything would be perfect.”
The truth of these answers is that once these requirements are met, the mind will just make new ones.
“Ok I ate lunch, but now I want dessert. Ok I ate dessert, but now I’m thirsty. Ok I drank water, but now I’m tired and need a nap.”
The mind will always kick the can of contentment down the road. But we can see this tendency of the mind and come to accept that it will always say this moment is not enough. We can see past this habit of the mind and come to the realization that this moment is enough, just the way it is, without having to add or subtract from it. And if we can see this once, we can practice it and become more and more familiar with the peace that comes from this moment being enough.
Conclusion
Being present is something that is difficult to write about. It is equally difficult to attempt to teach others how to be present. It’s a deeply personal experience. This is why I hope that by sharing the ways in which I attempt to come back to the moment and remember to “be here now”, or put better, “I can’t be anywhere but here and now.”
Give these techniques a try. Or invent your own. If you have any go to techniques already please share them in the comment section.
Presence is not something trendy or cute. It is our essential nature. Our birth right. If we don’t learn to be present our life may pass us by and we will have missed it. We run the risk of leaving the greatest gift that life has to offer on the table. Don’t do this. Prioritize presence. Be here now. And see you can’t actually “be” anywhere else.