What is the Soul?
The most helpful way to think of the soul.
What is the Soul?
The nature of the soul is an ancient and elusive mystery. I’m not promising to give a definitive answer to this question that philosophers, mystics, and scholars of many fields have studied and debated for centuries. I want to provide the most helpful definition that I have come across in my lifetime. The soul is the differential between your highest ideal and present state of being and action.
There is some unpacking to do with this definition, but I want to present it up front so it can begin to marinate in my mind. Again, this is the most helpful and practical way of looking at the soul. It can be valuable for making longer-term or difficult “at the moment” decisions. Furthermore, this perspective on the soul can aid in feeling more at peace and aligned with our highest power at this moment.
I heard this definition from an interview with Joscha Bach, a cognitive scientist, artificial intelligence researcher, and modern philosophical badass. I highly recommend YouTube-ing Joscha Bach and listening to his interviews online; they are mind-blowers. When I heard him describing how he looked at the soul, it was a transformational moment for me, and the transformed perspective has served me and the people I have shared this with unimaginably well since.
One quick note. You don’t have to believe that the “soul” or “the highest version or ideal of yourself” literally exists for these perspectives and practices to be profoundly impactful. It makes no difference if you believe the soul exists. We could say we are using the “soul” as a metaphor. As Richard Rohr states, “Metaphors are always true, and someone happened.” Think of yourself as an imperial scientist running the experiment of looking at this metaphorical soul and gathering evidence on its usefulness. These practices, or experiments, are only for your benefit. Run the experiment. See if you discover things about yourself that you never could have otherwise.
The Soul as a Differential.
To understand Bach’s way of thinking about the soul, we must first define two things:
Our highest ideal
Our present state of being and acting
(1) Our highest ideal is not simply what we would say if asked, “What is your highest ideal for yourself and the world?” This only gets us part of the way there. In this model, our highest ideal is beyond our conscious ability to identify or conceptualize. It is more like a Jungian archetype of the highest self we “could” be or that in us, which is closest to the divine. We most likely only get whispers from this highest self or the rare intuitive hit when we are quiet enough and the habitual chatter of the thinking mind slows down. Yet another good reason to meditate. However, these whispers from the soul can come through many different scenarios: being in nature, the liminal space between sleep and wakefulness, to name a few.
(2) “Our present state of being” is how we show up in the world from moment to moment or our attitude toward life. “Our actions” are pretty self-explanatory, how we act and interact with others.
Now it’s probably pretty apparent and evident that these two things, your highest ideal and your present state of being, are generally not in perfect harmony. How often do you feel you are operating for the most elevated purpose possible? Even beyond your ability to fully conceptualize what that ideal is. This may feel like an impossible standard to hold yourself to, but that is the point. We may feel aimless or even nihilistic if we don’t sense a higher purpose we can strive towards and align with.
For most of us, just believing that there is a highest ideal worth discovering and striving for is enough to lift us out of the worst depression. The idea is not that we will feel like it is worth living once we achieve this ideal, but simply the belief and faith that it may exist can give us purpose and meaning that can sustain us through suffering. As Friedrich Nietzche said, “He who knows his way can withstand any how.” What is a better “Way” than the highest ideal imaginable for us?
A Sick Soul
If you’re anything like me, you’ve had periods (or maybe you're going through one now) where there was a massive gap between your highest ideal and your actual state of being. This gap may seem impossible or so intimidating that we don’t even want to look at it. This is where this definition of the soul can be helpful. When we say, “My soul feels sick.” We are saying there is a significant difference between my sense of the highest ideal and my present state.
On the other hand, looking at the soul this way, we can ask ourselves, “How does this decision feel in my soul?” In other words, does it feel like I’m moving closer to this highest ideal, or am I moving further from it? This is a deeply personal exercise. No one can do it for you. You will not find these answers directly in books or the teachings of others. These may point you in the right direction, but ultimately this is about discovering within yourself.
As Carl Jung stated, “The most important question anyone can ask is: What myth am I living?” This is not a “myth” in the pejorative sense. Just the opposite, myth is what is the highest meaning and story we tell ourselves about the life we are living.
To state this in the affirmative, we will turn to Shakespeare, “To thine own self be true.” The “Self” in this state, I believe, is the highest ideal we can conceive of.“Being true” means orienting our lives in the direction that serves this ideal as best we can, moment by moment, action by action.
It may seem intimidating or scary to face these questions, but it should scare us much more to imagine a life we never do. In this model of the soul, our highest ideal is always calling to us, no matter how faint. Most of us get good at ignoring it, running from it, distracting ourselves from it, but somewhere deep inside; we always know that voice is there. Ignore this voice of your highest ideal long enough, and two things can happen:
(1) Our soul will get sick. We will feel disconnected from life like we are not living up to our potential. Or worse, we can become depressed or nihilistic. We may seek relief in unhealthy addictions like alcohol, drugs, shopping, and indiscriminate and non-intimate sex. These things are insidious because they further disconnect our souls from this sense of our highest ideal. As John Vervaki, cognitive scientist and superstar in the world of meaning-making, calls this can cause “reciprocal closing.” This is when we do something that distracts us from more opportunities and possibilities; our world gets seemingly more minor. As the world gets smaller, our view gets more and more narrow to where we only can see one possible way for our lives to be, generally through the lease of negative addictive behavior.
(2) The suffering from a sick soul will compel us to change everything about our lives drastically. We may destroy relationships, and families, leave our jobs or careers, move to another state or country, radically change our physical image through tattoos or new hairstyles, or many other drastic life changes that one could imagine. This may be a little healthier than the first option, but it still can be very destructive, especially if you have responsibilities to others.
Hopefully, by these examples, we can see that beginning the practice of regularly listening to our soul is of utmost importance. In 12-step recovery, a powerful question is often asked, “What do you know is true that you don’t want to know is true?” This can be a terrifying and challenging question to ask. However, the courage it takes to ask, meditate on, and answer this question for yourself is the first step towards creating an intimate relationship with your soul. This will begin the healing process and slowly remove some of the difference between your highest ideal and your present state of being. This is revolutionary for starting to live a purposeful, meaningful life.
Practical Ways to Strengthen the Soul
Practically speaking, let's say you’re in your late 20s or early 30s, and your life is a mess, like most of us feel, most of the time, at any age. You’ve got a job at Target, your relationships aren’t as good as you wish they could be, your health could be better, and you are generally just getting by. Having the courage to face “the scary monster under the bed,” which is the health of your soul, can radically transform your attitude and relationship to life before changing any physical circumstances.
Be honest and ask, “What would my life look like if I had what I needed?” Not everything I want, like shopping on Amazon for the perfect life. But what I know I need in my soul:
A healthy relationship with my family, however unconventionally I define that family.
A sense of belonging to a community that I am proud to be a part of.
I am doing good work that I am proud of and positively affecting the world.
A connection to something greater than myself, a higher power.
Once we’ve asked these questions, simply shifting our lives toward moving towards them, one day and one moment at a time, gives our life a powerful positive meaning. Yes, I work at Target, but I’m going to start going to night school and study creative writing, painting, carpentry, business, or whatever my soul has been calling me to that I’ve ignored for years. I will call my parents, that old friend, or someone I want to be friends with but don’t feel worthy of. I will go to that yoga or guitar class that I’ve been too scared of because I don’t want to look like a fool in front of others.
One small step in the direction of a healthier soul can have exponential effects on your life. Instead of buying the lie, “I’ll be happy once I have the new job, relationship, or master that skill I’ve always wanted to.” We can see the more profound truth at a soul level. I am taking the courageous step towards my highest ideal, and as I do, it will reveal itself more and more to me.
Again, I turn to John Verkaki’s work. When we listen to the soul, we have what Vervaki calls “reciprocal opening.” This is where our world opens up a little, which leads to more perspectives and possibilities. As we try and do new things, our world opens more in a reciprocal manner, and our options expand exponentially.
We don’t have to see the end destination our soul is leading us to before we take the first step. We can’t. That’s not the way it works.
Anne Lamont says, “Life is like driving a car at night. You can see only as far as your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way. You don’t have to see your destination or everything you will pass. You have to see two or three feet ahead of you.” We can make a three thousand mile trip in this way. But most of us never leave the seeming safety of our driveway.
Our souls are calling and beckoning us to discover all that life offers us. Our job is to listen and have the courage to take the first step. One of my mantras is, “Life has better plans for me than I could ever have for myself.” We could also say, “Our soul has better plans than we could ever imagine in our present state.” This is not wishful thinking; in my case, it has demonstrated itself countless times. This doesn’t mean sitting on the couch and waiting for “life’s” plan to come and find you. It is a relationship that you have to do your part in. Do the work and take action when necessary, but let go of the outcomes you believe you need. Trust that life has the product you need in store for you.
Conclusion
Thinking of the soul in this way is a tool and practice that can radically change the direction of your life. Looking at your soul as a relationship between your highest ideal and your present state of being can give incredible clarity. We can use the practice of asking how decisions feel in our souls when it comes to long-term choices and goals. We can sense how to navigate a challenging situation or circumstance in our souls. But most importantly, as we do this practice, we begin to develop a more intimate relationship with the voice of our highest ideal—less differential in the soul. Our souls get healthier, stronger, and more reliable.
Ryan Holiday says, “You must have an intuition worth listening to. Have you put in the work and study to trust your gut?” I believe this is an indispensable part of that work. Being still and silent. You are tuning out the noise so that we can tune into the whispers of our souls. Over time the stories can turn into a clear, confident voice.
Have the courage to introduce yourself to your highest ideal. Listen to what this highest ideal has to say. What it wishes and plans it has for you now, in this lifetime. If your experience is anything like mine has been, you will discover your most excellent teacher, coach, mentor, and compass.